“Having a Dog is Way Better Than Dating” – 5 People Who’ve Swapped Partners For Pets
“I can rely on my cats to be there – no ghosting here – and, claws aside, they’ll never intentionally hurt me”
It’s no secret that the dating world is not looked on favourably these days. The use of dating apps is down (way downopens in a new tab), single cat ladies are inopens in a new tab and if you haven’t seen the phrase ‘dumpster fire’ used to describe the current dating scene on social media at least once today, then you haven't been online.
Do you even need to date? That’s a decision that’s totally up to you of course. But, just be aware that there are people out there, happily single and living their best life with their petsopens in a new tab. Ahead, we spoke to some of them to see why pets are better than dating.
Jack Boston Oswald, 36, fine art painter, Margate – and his dog Midnight
Midnight came into Jackopens in a new tab’s life a year and a half ago. She’d belonged to his friend, but he couldn’t cope on his own, so Midnight was destined for the Greyhoundopens in a new tab sanctuary. “I was like ‘absolutely no way, no creature as glamorous as Midnight is going to the pound’,” says Jack.
Jack spends long solitary hours painting in his studioopens in a new tab, so Midnight has become his constant companion – “plus she looks great on a chaise-longue”. Jack describes Midnight as a law unto herself. “She’s had so many owners that she doesn’t listen,” he says. “She has her own mind, her own way of being, which annoys me sometimes but I’d never change it. It’s very characterful, like a person, to me she feels like another human. Everyone in Margate knows her. ”
On an emotional level, Jack likes that Midnight is a reliable presence. “Just by being her, she’s consistent,” he explains. “When humans are consistent, you get bored of it, but it’s not like that with dogs, that’s what we love about dogs. They love you every day, they do the same thing: walk, feed, smile and howl.”
As far as dating goes, Jack wouldn’t say dogs are better than dating per se, “but companionship from a dog is good when you want a break from putting yourself out there,” he says. “I also love that dogs are physical and not online, which is wonderful – especially as most of my dating is online.” In the future, Jack wants to meet someone who is a laugh and kind, but most importantly, romantic. “On the gay scene, dating has been all about sex, rather than romance,” says Jack, “that’s what’s missing. I need someone to go full force with romance.”
Jade F Clark, 28, tattoo artist, Manchester – and her cats Juno and Big Marsh
Jade got Marsh during the first year she lived alone as an adult. “I was craving companionship,” she says. “Juno came about three months later.” Jadeopens in a new tab actually used to be scared of cats. “But since getting my own, I can read them like a book with their quirks – they’re so intuitive.”
Whenever Jade’s down, they are by her side. Jade has struggled with her mental health since she was a child. “I’ve always felt isolated like I don’t fit in, and living alone took me to some dark places,” she says. “But Juno and Marsh are my responsibility and help me get up in the morning – their existence is the best thing that’s ever happened to my mental health.” When Jade zones out, Juno and Big Marsh pull her back to reality with their meowing.
At this point, Jade would take cats over dating every time. “Having a best bud at home is great,” explains Jade. “Dating culture – and I’m talking from personal experience – has become toxic and hurtful, sometimes it just feels like I’m waiting to be disappointed and let down. I never worry about that with my pets.” Her cats are good judges of character, too. “Juno is a flirt if she likes someone I’m dating,” says Jade, “but any hesitation about their energy and she’s not interested. It’s scary how right she is.”
“Being single can be lonely when all your mates and exes are getting married, having babies and taking their next steps,” says Jade, which used to send her into a spiral of comparison. “But since getting the cats, I don’t do that nearly as much.”
Eleanor Pilcher, 29, freelance marketing consultant, London – and her cat Puck
Eleanor has given up dating. “I have no interest,” she sighs. “That desire hasn’t been there since 2021, so this may be permanent.” You see, she had a series of bad dates. One particularly awful one was with a chef who took her to McDonald’s. “He asked me to pay, then commented that he didn’t like the way I ate my nuggets and left me outside.”
But when she met Puck, it was love at first sight. “She was the runt of the litter and looked like an alien with bulging blue eyes that were too big for her body.” At first, she was only fostering Puck. But serendipitously, just when Eleanor had resigned herself to life alone, she got a phone call asking if she’d adopt Puck forever. “I raced to accept. Her name is officially ‘Puck Pilcher’ and she has been with me full time since November 2023,” says Eleanor.
Eleanor believes Puck has brought more affection into her life than any of her past partners. “Having a pet and living my life my way is way better than dating,” she explains. “Puck gives me the attention I want, but doesn’t mind if I shut my door to read a book. Sure, she can’t bring in a second income, cook me dinner or laugh at my jokes, but she knows when I need comfort and leaves me alone when my introversion kicks in.”
Tabitha Warley, 34, communications manager/influencer, York – and her dog Bobo
As a single person with a full-time job, living in a rented flat, Tabithaopens in a new tab didn’t think she could have a dog of her own. “I’d look at the RSPCAopens in a new tab website and my heart would break for the dogs,” she says. “In May 2023, I saw ‘Beau’, a one-eyed, 11-year-old Staffordshire Bull Terrier who’d been dumped and was found wandering the streets in York,” she says. “The RSCPA gave him multiple surgeries because of the level of neglect – he still had stitches in his face in the photos. I fell in love. But I wasn’t ready, right?” Tabitha carried on with life, occasionally checking the RSPCA website to see if Bobo had been rehomed – “one month, two months, three months, four months later, he was still on there. So I went for it. I put in an application. This dog needed me.”
Tabitha says Bobo is the most loving boy. “Despite how people have treated him, he’s ready to greet everyone he meets with a big smile before rolling over for belly rubs,” she says. “He knows when I’m not OK before I do. He nudges me until I stop and take a breather.” Tabitha’s brother died recently, and she was overwhelmed with admin and family responsibilities. “I wasn’t facing how I was feeling,” she says. “One particular day Bobo stuck to my side until I sat on the floor with him. He enveloped me in a massive hug and I sobbed.”
One of the biggest things Tabitha gets from Bobo is security – “unfortunately I don’t feel physically or emotionally safe dating in 2024,” she says. “I leave dates and interactions exhausted and drained but time with my dog is restorative and relaxing.” That’s what Tabitha would want in a human partner. ”I’m looking for gentleness,” she says. “I want to feel safe and loved in a relationship.”
Jade Biggs, 31, writer, London – and her cats Collin, Cupid, Custard and Coconut
It wasn’t Jade’s plan to live life with four cats. But, four years ago, after her previous cat passed away from cancer, her house didn’t feel like home anymore. She went to a rescue centre and asked which cats no one wanted. “I was presented with an older family of four, ” explains Jade, “I didn’t want to separate them!” She says they’re an odd-looking bunch – “Cupid has one eye and no ears!” – but they’ve become her family.
Jade’s cats all have different personalities and she connects with them each on a unique level. “Non-cat people assume all cats are the same, but they are multifaceted and complex,” says Jade. “Collin is needy and never leaves my side, so he’s my go-to if I’m in need of emotional support. Custard, on the other hand, is independent, but really he’s a big – literally, massive – softie and loves to be snuggled.”
Jade definitely prefers her pets to dating – “especially in 2024,” she sighs. “I don’t need to swipe 570 times to find a cat I can build a connection with, and I don’t need to make awkward small talk with them,” she continues. “What’s more, I can rely on my cats to be there – no ghosting here – and, claws aside, they’ll never intentionally hurt me. The same can’t be said for men,” she adds with an eye roll.
As to whether she wants to find a human partner in the future, she’s unsure. Jade loves her own space – “the thought of someone living in it feels intense,” she says. “What if they don't respect how the Tupperware cupboard is organised? What if they let their electric toothbrush leave a toothpaste ring on the bathroom tiles? Honestly, I can't handle the thought of it.” Although, she realises she makes compromises for her cats. “White fur on literally everything,” she says. “But the love I get in return is unconditional and outweighs any of the perceived negatives. I’d take a litterboxopens in a new tab over a pee-splashed toilet seat any day.” People often ask Jade what she’d do if she met a partner who doesn’t like cats… “The answer is simple,” she asserts, “I’d never get rid of my cats, but getting rid of a partner? I wouldn’t think twice.”
